More Neck than a giraffe!

**gazza57** · 13-10-2010,12:57 PM

I couldn't help but laugh at a guy who lives on a property which adjoins mine, his fence resembles a wrecked tracy emin sculpture and he's always meaning to get round to fixing it but has been meaning to for the last 7 years!
Even the offcuts from when the house was built, lumps of deckboard and bits and pieces still reside in his garden, well that's fine and up to him.
Anyway, I asked him if he was going to replace the fence as it is really tatty, but you guessed it he's been meaning to do it.
I was doing some work in my garden laying a new path and had to cut down a 40ft leylandii tree which had a fungus infestation.
This tree had screened his house from mine, so he comes out and says why did you cut down that tree?
I told him he says:
Are you going to replace it with something to maintain my privacy?
after picking myself up off the floor and composing myself after laughing so hard, I told him B&Q did not, to my knowledge sell Leylandii trees that grow 6ft daily and if he wanted privacy in his own garden he plant prune and maintain his own tree in his own garden. I guess that will be another thing he has been meaning to do.
A local builder offered me a couple of spare used fence panels which I said he could have as long as he replaces the fence eventually, they were better than the boxwood pile he had there presently.
So I bring these panels in from where the builder had left them and give them to him, after putting them in for him, he says why have you left my old fence panels in my garden? can't you get rid of them!!!!!!!!!!!
I politely lifted the panels out and told him to go forth and multiply in very short jerky movements!
I suspect he's the sort who if he were to sit too close to a fire would expect someone to move him or be meaning to move as it's getting a bit too hot!
I shall turn my toes up before mr flash gets around to replacing that fence.
Gazza57